Where your heart is

"Want the things you care about, desire them , strategize to get them-but never take them seriously. Play at getting them, play hard, play as if the game were a war game. But then, after the war, after the strategizing, learn to treat these very things you want indifferently... You play with them, fight for them but...Don't count on any of them or you become their slave"

Name:
Location: Singapore

Saturday, March 31, 2007

A miracle

Dated 30th March:

24 years ago to this day, my mother, splendid woman that she is and a heroine of her time, performed (was a party to or instrumental thereof) a stupendous miracle that has not ceased to amaze and astound the people of this generation. Effects of this miracle are still being felt to this very day and have not diminished but grown in size and intensity.

For what can be more miraculous than the miracle of birth? And who is more heroic than a mother that brings a child into this world? So 24 years ago there was this miracle. A very personal miracle. Me. My birth. The wonderful individual you see. The genius behind this blog. I'm 24 today.

Thank you, mom.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Of your own volition or otherwise

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It might be viral gastritis, but the doc doesn't really know

I woke up yesterday morning feeling hideously nauseous and it was all I could do to keep from throwing up. A sip of water didn't help, and my stomach insisted on throwing up anyway, despite having nothing but water to expel. Ugh.

Somewhat earlier than that, at dawn, I woke to the clap of thunder and a flooded tabletop and rushed to do damage control with various pieces of cloth and to rescue sensitive equipment from water damage. My laptop had been sitting squarely on said flooded tabletop, but fortunately the screen was down and the keyboard was not drenched. After the flurry of activity, conducted in semi-darkness, I was conscious of acute nausea, but dismissed it with a sip of water and an almost immediate resumption of slumber. Until I woke a few hours later to find that it was not a figment of imagination by a sleep-deprived mind, but a bug that seemed to have moved in for a stay.

Oddly enough, my brother sent me an sms that very morning saying that he was sick with food poisoning and could I please get him a loaf of bread, poor lamb. My first thought was: 'We really did not eat the same stuff yesterday, did we?' It would seem that the only food we had in common was some potato chips and some oreo cookies, and one does not usually get food poisoning from chips, although that would fit most neatly into the shared food + food poisoning theory.

I stayed in bed all day with a slight temperature and the tedious backache that seems to accompany many viral fevers that I get, alternately semiconscious and dozing uneasily in the afternoon heat. A hot shower did wonders to the backache and I drowsed more comfortably after that, until sometime this morning.

The doctor did not seem to know what was wrong. 'Was this something I ate?''No, probably not food related. Maybe something in the air. Some virus, probably.' He packed me off with some antacid and anti nausea pills.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

It's a blazing hot afternoon, but I'm sitting in my PGP greenhouse room typing away at a computer that radiates heat in waves. On my desk sits a mug of tea that I brewed to keep me awake, the steam from the hot water I just poured in dissipating in the sweltering air. I feel like a bundle of contradictions, and it's not nice to contradict oneself in this heat. The fan brings me scant relief, even though I have turned it up several notches. I note that the time is 5+pm; another hour and this baking torment will subside into cool evening.

We spent yesterday playing risk in KN's room, my first attempt at the game that the bunch of them recently picked up. I was the noob of the game, and fortuitously managed to take Australia, where I planned to watch the rest of the world at war from a safe and defensible position. A couple of inflammatory comments, a misdirected spirit of adventure and a wrongly fortified position allowed KY to sweep into my base, ousting my troops before his relentless onslaught. Before the sun went down, he had occupied Australia, and I was the homeless spirit, drifting through the forests of India and China. But my brother came to my rescue, and for an absolutely gratuitous motive, waged war against poor unsuspecting KY until his forces were sufficiently weakened, allowing me to retake what I had lost through imprudence. And so I remained in the game a little longer.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Crabby Old Woman?

I was googling for quotes on ageing to ornament my insurance assignment when I found this.

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A Crabby Old Woman?

When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland, it was felt that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Ireland. The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health. This little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet. Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We may one day be there, too!

What do you see, nurse, what do you see?

What are you thinking when you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply

When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice the things that you do,

And forever is losing a stocking or shoe....

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....

Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten...with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty--my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now,

I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,

Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,

But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more, babies play around my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman...and nature is cruel;

'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart,

There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,

And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years... all too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, nurses, open and see...

Not a crabby old woman; look closer...see ME!

-- Anon.

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

I stubbed my left big toe some three weeks ago and broke the nail. The flesh has healed now, but the broken nail has yet to grow out. Rather than cut it off and leave the nail bed exposed, I have chosen to stick a succession of plasters (band-aid) over the hanging nail, extending the sticky ends to below the toe to fasten it firmly into place.

I still need to walk on that toe though; I am mobile enough, even though that toe was sore for the first fews days. With my foot applying pressure and friction on the plaster, it not only shifted and stretched, but liberally rubbed its adhesive off on the various pairs of sandals that I wore, to which adhered all the dust from the ground that I walked upon.

Now my left sandals come with a sticky, dirt-encrusted big-toe-mark which however is fortunately obscured when I have the sandals on. The pink pair are my daily wear/ bathroom pair, and comes with the most pronounced toe print. The black pair has also seen much use, but the print does not show as much, and the beige one has but a smudge.


I think that I should be able to remove the marks with a bit of sticky tape, when I finally ditch the plaster for good. The hanging toenail seems to take forever to grow out though.

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