Post exam blog

I have been neglecting my blog for the exams and now they are finally over. My first year in law school has come to its not so momentuous conclusion and I feel -- a sense of emptiness. Regret? Relief? A mixture perhaps. But I have to put it all behind me and look towards the upcoming holidays and the new school year.

I get tired and jaded sometimes trying to slog through material of which I see little point in reading, but which common sense tells me are important or it wouldn't be on our reading list.

Reading some highly intelligent blogposts of some people refreshes me and sets my mental processes working on a higher level so that I am able to return to my reading with a new and interested attitude, a slightly different perspective and new sense of purpose. I borrow some of other people's enthusiasm for the subject matter that they are studying before I develop my own, and it sustains me awhile. Maybe original enthusiasm takes time to develop. I hope.

Hot weather drove me down to the study room again yesterday. I stayed there till my laptop battery ran out, which gave me an impetus to tear myself away from the convivial atmosphere of the study room back into the solitude of my room.

Khim bought ice-cream for our group which we had after dinner, passing the carton up and down the long table, each of us digging our spoons into the smooth icy goodness. Aah. What is life without ice-cream?

I resolved to impose self discipline and devote some time to solid study in my room, during which I did progress further on those cases. At 12 I went down to the study room again, and was not sorry to have done so, since a kindly soul had contributed roast chicken and grilled fish for our suppers that night. Somehow the very thought made me the hungrier and I was positively slavering when the meat was heated up and served. Mmm. Gastronomical bliss. Khim would remind me to give Banjo Bear some, but well, Banjo turned vegetarian for the night, if not permanently.

The temperature in the study room dipped progressively lower. my fingers were icy, but my stomach was warm, not only because of the good supper, but because of the warm presence of dear old furry Banjo Bear. Faithful studying companion and Guardian of my bodily warmth.

Yesterday afternoon was spent in the study room. Was somewhat amused by the antics of two friends who were playing (and losing) computer games against their computers. This prevalent laptop culture in NUS is particularly beneficial to computer game addicts who can set up their mini cyber cafe anytime. My brother should turn green at this very thought.

Am becoming a peer counsellor of sorts these days. Friends come to me for advice and solace. I'm pleased to help out where I can but at the same time remind myself to stay emotionally separate from their emotional problems. The last thing I need is to become caught up and stressed out over someone else's problems again. While I may yet refresh others, I cannot drain myself in doing so.

A friend came over last night and we were talking about our lives so far. Our first major powwow in what feels like ages. Living in different halls and having very different lives draw us far apart. It feels like we have been several months removed from each other. This is not the first time I become aware of the danger of friendship just fading like that.

Will today be more productive than yesterday? Go me.

Had a very occupied but not entirely academically fruitful morning alternating between reading up on cases and surfing other people's blogs. I am supposed to prepare for exams by outlining study topics for easier exam reference. At least this is among the tips law school websites offer for sound exam preparation. I am grateful for some direction especially where studying is concerned, as I easily lose my way in the maze of cases and articles and never find my way out again. I easily despair when I can't see the way out.

A search on Contract Law produced a blog entry by Heidi in Letters of Marque which analyses the issues of Offer and Acceptance in Sauron's demand that Dain find the One Ring for him. Brilliantly written, sparkling and humourous. Was so encouraged by this find that I spent more time looking up the blogs of other law students and lawyers but found nothing nearly as interesting. But this exercise has opened my awareness of the vibrant blog scene out there by people from so many walks of life. Did a Google search of Singaporean blogs but only netted some mundane blogs all about some people's lives and nothing more.

Lunch is over, back to my cases. Maybe I can finish privity this afternoon.

Solitary day today, holed up in my room reading all the assigned readings before I start on my Legal Theory assignment. Was a little cheered up at dinner when I saw all of them but not by very much. The readings are digestible, hopefully the essay I produce will be more palatable to the lecturer than the last.

Pretty good weather today to stay in one's room. Usually my room starts to feel like an oven between 2-5pm in the afternoon. I escape to the study room which is air-conditioned. It rained today and the weather was bliss. It wasn't even hot hugging my large furry teddy bear...Last night I brought it down to the study room. It is a most comfortable studying companion when you are in an air-conditioned room. The Bear was quite a hit with the rest. Although someone accidentally blurted out the price of it in a moment of distraction/ absentmindedness. Her dismay after that was comical. The Bear still does not have a name. I have come out with a few more possible choices: Toffee, Sugar, Caramel. I decide that I like a 3 syllable name better. but I have not decided on 'Caramel' yet. We shall see.

I am a little sorry that I cannot go with the CM people on their outing/ retreat, but the short interval between the time my exams end and the time my internship starts might just be the only time I get to go back to see my family for the next few months. I will still see the CM people every week. K asks me to pray about whether to go with them or not, but seriously, there is nothing to pray on this. It seems pretty clear cut in my mind.

I found a lovely verse written by Annie Johnson Flint from a website today and decided to use it for my email signature. Googled her name and found even more, plus a biography of her life. Brave, devoted woman! How she draws her strength from the Lord!

I am starting to get the hang of blogging. It's a selective process, and while I have to exercise discretion over what to blog, this isn't as restrictive a process as I think. my deepest (darkest?) thoughts still belong to my diary (and God), but there is still plenty of my personality besides that, most of which I am confortable showing the world. I still have to consider who my 'audience' is, and censor some stuff which might be potentially hurtful.